David looked out the window of his apartment as he absent-mindedly adjusted his tie and collar. The sun had barely risen, but there was already an orange glow to the sky. Skyscrapers dotted the landscape, and the mixture of traditional and modern buildings has never ceased to fascinate David whenever he looked out the window each morning before going to work. To his left, he had a clear view of the National Stadium in the distance, while if he looked hard enough to his right, the Forbidden City was a dot in the horizon.
Living in the middle of Beijing does have its advantages after all, thought David musingly as he turned around and reached for the coat rack. As he shrugged on his tweed coat, he felt warm hands touch his neck and gently adjust his lapels.
“Leaving so early?” a soft voice murmured.
David smiled and caught those hands with his own. Turning around, he looked down at the woman he married a month ago. May looked back at him with an expression of befuddled innocence, smiling that smile that made him fall in love with her in the first place. Her long dark hair was disheveled and her breath smelled slightly sour, but David didn’t care. He looked deep into her eyes as he raised one hand to touch her face.
“It’s not my fault,” sighed David. “Your dad wants me to meet up with some important clients of his who have a bad habit of waking up too early. God knows why they can’t come to the bank at a more reasonable hour.”
May fingered his tie idly. “You should wear that changshan I bought for you. It is the New Year, you know. You could probably win a few points with my father too.”
“I doubt that. He still thinks I’m a chicken pretending to be a duck, and simply putting on some Chinese costume isn't going to change that. I suspect he’s trying to work me to the ground as revenge for marrying his only daughter.”
“Surely you’re not having regrets already, Mr. West?”
“Not on your life,” whispered David as he pulled her in for a kiss.
After a few moments, May pulled apart. She cupped David’s face in her hands and looked him in the eye, her dark eyes tinged with sadness.
“David, I know you hate dressing fancy and all that, but do me a favor and wear that changshan when we go for my family’s reunion dinner tonight. Please?” She looked away. “I know things didn’t turn out too well between you and my parents, but… I know they’ll accept you one day. All I’m asking is for you to try your best to make that happen, David.”
David looked at her soberly. “I promise I’ll do everything I can to make your family accept me, May. But it’s going to take time.” He sighed. “A lot of time.”
May gave a weak grin. “Well, that’s a start. Jia you ba.” (All the best.)
David smiled back as he detached himself and reached for his briefcase on the dining table. “Okay. But I gotta run now before I’m late. I’ll see you later,’ he said as he walked towards the front door and opened it.
“David,” May called out.
He turned around with his hand against the open door.
“Wo ai ni.” (I love you.)
For a moment, David looked at the woman standing in the middle of his living room, clad in T-shirt and shorts. She was as beautiful as the day he first saw her at the bank’s opening ceremony a little over a year ago. Dressed in a red blouse and blue jeans then, she exuded a quiet confidence, which was what drew him to her at that time. He remembered the dimpled smile on her face as she introduced herself, and the warm gentle hand that she extended to shake his own. She had chosen to marry him against her family’s approval, and he loved her for that. He used to feel like an outsider in China. Now, he can’t imagine being anywhere else.
David carefully pronounced the words in his head before replying. “Wo ye ai ni,” he said slowly. “Zai jian.” (I love you too. Goodbye.)
May gave a satisfactory nod. “You’re getting better. Almost like a Chinese. Now get out of here, David, and tell Zhi Tian not to be late for lunch tomorrow.” She waved cheerily and blew a kiss.
David grinned and stepped out of the apartment. He closed the door just as the clock struck six.
***
Two days later
Zhi Tian was out of breath when he finally stepped out of the pouring rain and into the building. His formal black coat that looked immaculate not two minutes ago was now soaked. Water dripped steadily from it onto the carpet in the lobby. Silently cursing the idiot who built the bus stand a hundred feet away from the entrance of the building, he took off his drenched coat and looked around for a restroom.
Ten minutes later, he walked into the parlor dressed in a white shirt that was mostly dry. His coat was stuffed into a white plastic bag and now lay inconspicuously in an obscure corner of the restroom. At least, he hoped it was still there. Some thieves would steal a toothpick if only for the sake of stealing something. But he didn’t want to raise any awkward questions carrying a dirty looking plastic bag around, especially not during this particular occasion.
The parlor was half-filled with people already, even though the start of the ceremony was still half an hour away. Zhi Tian recognized many of them as business associates of his boss. No doubt they were here more out of formality than anything else, he thought to himself. They were mostly gathered in little circles and talking in hushed voices. As according to custom, some among the crowd wore the traditional white armband. Zhi Tian nodded curtly to the few who glanced at him and edged his way through the groups of people, his eyes scanning the crowd for his white friend.
Zhi Tian felt a wave of sadness rise in his chest as he thought of David. That poor bastard. They were roommates during their college days back in Connecticut, and it was Zhi Tian who suggested to David to try applying to the People’s Bank of China for a job when the bank was on the lookout for workers who could speak English fluently. Surprisingly, David had agreed. He had gotten the job, despite not being able to speak a word of Mandarin back then, and had started a new life in the capital of China.
That was two years ago. Everything had gone so well for David since he moved here. He made friends easily among the Chinese people, and he had even found himself a beautiful wife here. At any other time, Zhi Tian might even have felt envious of his old friend.
At any other time, that is, Zhi Tian thought gloomily as he made his way to the front of the parlor where the casket lay. An elaborate altar had been set up before the casket, complete with joss sticks and incense paper. Little saucers of fruits and food lay on it as well. A single candle burned on the right side of the altar, its flickering light reflecting off the picture frame that was placed at the center of everything. The sound of gongs and wind instruments accompanied the chanting of three monks who stood beside the altar. Zhi Tian went up before the altar and bowed. One of the monks stepped forward to take a joss stick from a pot and lighted it with the flame from the candle. He then offered it to Zhi Tian.
Zhi Tian accepted the joss stick from the monk, who retreated to stand beside the other two monks. He clasped the joss stick between his hands and closed his eyes to offer a prayer. He bowed three times before stepping forward and planting the joss stick firmly in the pot of sand on the altar. He took a step back and stood there gazing sadly at that smiling face.
May’s smiling face.
David was right, he thought bitterly as he turned around and walked away. Life really is a bitch. No one should ever have to die because some idiot thought he’d get drunk behind the wheel in broad daylight on New Year’s Eve, especially not someone like May.
A commotion near the front doors caught his attention, and the noise level of the room grew in a sudden crescendo. Even the monks standing beside the altar stopped chanting to look towards the doors. Curious, Zhi Tian moved closer to get a better view. He breathed a sigh of relief when he caught sight of a brown head of hair peeking through the top of the crowds.
David.
Zhi Tian hustled his way through the people milling themselves around his friend. For some reason, David had attracted a crowd of people who were gathered in a circle around his person. Geez, I guess he’s even more popular than I thought he was. All the while muttering apologies to the people he had to gently push aside, he finally made his way through. He was about to call out David’s name when what he was seeing finally slammed home into his brain with the force of a speeding train. Zhi Tian felt the blood freeze in his veins.
Oh shit.
***
David felt unnerved with everyone’s eyes on him. No
one had stepped forward to offer their condolences as he had expected, and
neither did anyone greet him since the moment he stepped through those gilded
front doors. If anything, those gazes directed at him almost seemed… hostile. He heard the crowd muttering
among themselves, and a few of them shook their heads in disapproval. David
felt a chill run down his back.
Awkwardly, he took a few steps
forward. The crowd didn’t budge.
Gathering his courage, he turned
to an elderly man with a walking stick and asked, “You shen me wen ti ma?” (Is there a problem?)
The old man gave him look of pure
disgust and spat. It landed on David’s shoe. He turned around and disappeared
through the wall of people.
David’s mind was a whirlwind of
thoughts. What the hell did I do wrong
now?
A man in a white shirt pushed his
way through the crowd towards him. David’s heart leaped when he saw that
familiar face. Finally! A friendly face. He
opened his arms in anticipation of a hug.
“Zhi Tian! You have no idea how – ”
“Are
– you – out – of – your – God – damn – mind?” Zhi Tian hissed. Roughly, he
caught hold of David’s shoulders, spun him around, and shoved him hard back
towards the doors. David heard him yell in rapid Mandarin to the crowd
surrounding them before grabbing hold of his shoulders again and forcing him
back through the corridor, down the staircase, and out the main entrance of the
building. All this happened so fast that David did not even have a chance to gather
his thoughts, let alone protest. One of the cleaning ladies in the lobby looked
at them curiously as they passed by but did not say anything. David blinked
when he found himself back outside the building. The rain still poured on
relentlessly, and the cold wind bit at them. David gave a slight shiver, but
Zhi Tian did not seem to notice it. Only there did Zhi Tian finally let go of
his shoulders.
The funeral parlor was situated
right beside one of Beijing’s many main roads, and David could hear cars
whizzing through the rain on the road. The cacophony of pattering rain against
the roof accompanied the sound of splashing puddles on the road. The air
outside was cold, and there was no one else outside.
David watched Zhi Tian pace
around with agitation on his face. But Zhi Tian wasn’t the only one seeing red
at the moment. This is my wife’s funeral, for Christ’s sake!
“Do you want to tell me what the hell is going on?” David demanded
angrily.
Zhi Tian finally stopped pacing
and rounded on him. His eyes were daggers in the dim light. “No, do you want to tell me what the hell you were thinking by wearing that to your own wife’s funeral?” He prodded David in the chest. Hard.
Not for the first time today,
David felt like a complete idiot. What?
All this fuss over the clothes I’m wearing? What the hell is this?
David looked down on himself. He
was wearing the changshan that May
had bought for him, the very same one he was going to wear for the reunion
dinner at her parent’s house on New Year’s Eve. David had bitterly cursed
himself for not letting her see him dressed in it while she was still alive. It
was her present to him after all. That was why he had chosen to wear this
tonight. At the very least, perhaps she could smile down on him from wherever
she was right now.
“May gave this to me before she
died,” he said softly, gently fingering his cuffs. “She had always wanted to
see me dressed up in it. I know she’d be happy if she could see me right now.”
David felt his eyes moistened again. He hurriedly blinked a few times.
“She also said that this would
bring me good fortune. God knows how much I need that tonight.”
“Good fortune?” screeched Zhi
Tian in disbelief. He threw up his hands. “David, the only thing you’re going
to get wearing that is a knife in your back, and you’ll be lucky if that's all you get. Wo de tian! (My God) Have
you learned nothing of Chinese
customs since you came here? Red is the color of happiness, you moron! What
were you thinking?”
David felt like he just got
slapped in the face, and his mind went completely blank. Happiness? They actually think I’m happy my wife is dead and lying in that casket just because I’m wearing my
wife’s favorite color? Numbly, he lifted his right hand and stared at the
bright red fabric of his sleeve. May.
From inside the building, he
became vaguely aware of a man shouting at someone. It took him a few seconds to
recognize his father-in-law’s voice. David became instantly alert. Oh damn.
“Na ge wang ba dan pao le qu na?” (Where did that bastard go?)
David stole a look through the
automatic glass doors. His elderly father-in-law was dressed in a black suit
and had been yelling at the unfortunate cleaning lady whom they passed by
earlier. She took a few steps back and held her mop protectively in front of
her. She gave an offended look and pointed at the main entrance. A moment
later, David’s father-in-law stepped through those glass doors and into the
cold air with murder in his eyes.
Zhi Tian immediately went up to
him and started a stream of explanations. David couldn’t make out what he said,
but whatever it was, it fell on deaf ears. The old man shoved Zhi Tian roughly
aside with one hand and took a few steps towards David, raising an accusing finger.
“You!” he shrieked. “I should
have killed you the moment I saw you, you piece of filth! I was stupid to
expect anything good from you Americans, especially an American who stole my only
daughter from me! And tonight you dare to
insult my daughter’s memory with your insolence?”
“Ba,” David began, but then he stopped. “Sorry” didn’t seem to be
the right word at this time. But what
else can I say? David gave a deep bow to the old man. No excuses this time.
“Dui
bu qi.” (I’m
sorry.)
The old man replied by stepping
forward and swinging his fist in an upward motion at David’s head, which was
still bent over in a bow. It connected with surprising force squarely on
David’s nose, and he felt the cartilage in it break on impact. David’s feet
lifted an inch off the ground before he landed painfully on the small of his
back. He could feel blood flowing from his nose, and his mouth was already
filled with the metallic taste of it. Vaguely, he heard Zhi Tian’s pleading voice
over the background of splattering rain and speeding cars.
May’s father ignored him and walked
to stand beside David, who lay groaning on the ground. Hatred burned in his
eyes as he glared down at David, and his fingers were clenched into fists. He
raised his foot and slammed it down on David’s chest. David’s eyes widened as
the air was knocked out of him. He turned on his side gasping for air.
Numb with pain, David felt rough
hands take hold of the front of his changshan
and pull him forwards. He found himself face-to-face with his father-in-law.
His eyes crinkled in anger, and his lips were pulled back in a snarl.
“Let me tell you something, Mr. West,” the old man said in a soft
but dangerous tone. “I hate Americans.
They’re arrogant and think they know everything when they come here, and I’d
sooner die than hire one to work in my bank.
The only reason why I hired you was because that man (he jerked his thumb
towards Zhi Tian) pleaded with me and told me that you were different, that you
were willing to learn new things. He told me you would never disappoint me.” His voice dripped with
contempt. “And so, like the naïve old man I am, I took his advice and hired
you. That was the second biggest
mistake of my life.”
David felt himself being lifted
up to his feet by the front of his shirt. Groggily, he found himself wondering
how his father-in-law could be so strong for someone hitting seventy years of
age.
“But the biggest mistake of my life,” he whispered, “was not killing you
when you had the nerve to ask my
daughter out the first time. And because of my mistake, today she’s dead.”
David felt his fists tighten further on his clothes. The old man closed his
eyes for a moment before opening them again. Malice shone in his eyes. “Your
friend was right; you did not disappoint me at all. You’re an American, and I
expected nothing better from filth
like you.” With a grunt, the old man shoved David backwards and out onto the
road.
David felt the rain hit his face
as he stumbled out on the road. He did not hear Zhi Tian scream his name, nor
did he hear the sound of the approaching bus. When he finally did, it was too
late. David only had one thought in his head as he watched the incoming
headlights.
May…
