written by Darren Yip
David looked out the window of his apartment as he absent-mindedly
adjusted his tie and collar. The sun had barely risen, but there was already an
orange glow to the sky. Skyscrapers dotted the landscape, and the mixture of
traditional and modern buildings never ceased to fascinate David whenever he
looked out the window each morning. To his left, he had a clear view of the
National Stadium in the distance, while if he looked hard enough to his right,
the Forbidden City was a dot in the horizon.
Living in the middle of Beijing does have
its advantages after all, thought David musingly as he turned around
and reached for the coat rack. As he shrugged on his tweed coat, he felt warm
hands touch his neck and gently adjust his lapels.
“Leaving so early?” a soft voice murmured.
David smiled and caught those hands with his own. Turning around, he looked
down at the woman he married just a month ago. May looked back at him with an
expression of befuddled innocence, smiling that smile that made him fall in
love with her in the first place. Her long dark hair was disheveled and her
breath smelled slightly sour, but David didn’t care. He looked deep into her
eyes as he raised a hand to touch her face.
“It’s not my fault,” said David with a sigh.
“Your dad wants me to meet up with some important clients of his who have a bad
habit of waking up too early. God knows why they can’t come to the bank at a
more reasonable hour.”
May fingered his tie idly. “You should wear that changshan I bought for you. It is the New
Year, you know. You could probably win a few points with my father too.”
“I doubt that. He still thinks I’m a chicken pretending to be a duck, and
simply wearing a Chinese costume isn’t going to change his mind. He’s probably
trying to work me to the ground as revenge for marrying his only daughter.”
“Surely you’re not having regrets already, Mr. West?”
“Not on your life,” whispered David as he pulled her in for a kiss.
After a few moments, May pulled apart. She cupped David’s face in her hands and
looked him in the eye. David thought he detected a hint of sadness in those
dark eyes.
“David, I know you hate dressing fancy
and all that, but do me a favor and wear that changshan when we go for my family’s reunion
dinner tonight. Please?” She looked away. “I know things didn’t turn out too
well between you and my parents, but… I know they’ll accept you one day. All
I’m asking is for you to try your best to make that happen.”
David looked at her soberly. “I promise I’ll do everything I can to make your
family accept me, May. But it’s going to take time.” He sighed. “A lot of time.”
May gave a weak grin. “Well, that’s a start. Jia
you ba.” (All the best.)
David smiled back as he detached himself and reached for his briefcase on the
dining table. “Okay. But I gotta run now before I’m late. I’ll see you later,’
he said as he walked towards the front door and opened it.
“David,” May called out.
He turned around with his hand against the open door.
“Wo ai ni.” (I love
you.)
For a moment, David looked at the woman standing in the
middle of his living room, clad in T-shirt and shorts. She was as beautiful as
the day he first saw her at the bank’s opening ceremony a little over a year
ago. Dressed in a red blouse and blue jeans then, she exuded a quiet confidence,
which was what drew him to her at that time. He remembered the dimpled smile on
her face as she introduced herself, and the warm gentle hand that she extended
to shake his own. She had chosen to marry him against her family’s approval,
and he loved her for that. He used to feel like an outsider in China. Now, he
can’t imagine being anywhere else.
David carefully pronounced the words in his head before replying. “Wo ye ai ni,” he said slowly. “Zai jian.” (I love you too. Goodbye.)
May gave a satisfactory nod. “You’re getting better. Almost like a Chinese. Now get out of here,
David, and tell Zhi Tian to not be late for lunch tomorrow.” She waved cheerily
and blew a kiss.
David grinned and stepped out of the apartment. He closed the door just as the
clock struck six.
***
Two days later…
Zhi Tian was out of breath when he finally stepped out of the pouring rain and
into the building. His formal black coat that looked immaculate not two minutes
ago was now soaked. Water dripped steadily from it onto the carpet in the
lobby. Silently cursing the idiot who built the bus stand a hundred feet away from the entrance of the
building, he took off his drenched coat and looked around for a restroom.
Ten minutes later, he walked into the parlor dressed in a white shirt that was
mostly dry. His coat was stuffed into a white plastic bag and now lay
inconspicuously in an obscure corner of the restroom. At least, he hoped it was still there. Some thieves would
steal a toothpick if only for the sake of stealing something. But he didn’t
want to raise any awkward questions carrying a plastic bag around in such a
place, especially not during this particular occasion.
The parlor was half-filled with people already, even though the start of the
ceremony was still half an hour away. Zhi Tian recognized many of them as
business associates of his boss. No doubt they were here more out of formality
than anything else, he thought to himself. They were mostly gathered in little
circles and talking in hushed voices. As according to custom, some among the
crowd wore the traditional white armband. Zhi Tian nodded curtly to the few who
glanced at him and edged his way through the groups of people, his eyes
scanning the crowd for his white friend.
Zhi Tian felt a wave of sadness rise in his chest as he thought of David. That poor bastard. They were roommates during their
college days back in Connecticut, and it was Zhi Tian who suggested to David to
try applying to the People’s Bank of China for a job when the bank was on the
lookout for workers who could speak English fluently. Surprisingly, David had
agreed. He had gotten the job despite not being able to speak a word of
Mandarin back then and had started a new life in the capital of China.
That was two years ago. Everything had gone so well for David since he moved
here. He made friends easily among the Chinese people, and he had even found
himself a beautiful wife here. At any other time, Zhi Tian might even have felt
envious of his old friend.
At any other time, that is, Zhi
Tian thought gloomily as he made his way to the front of the parlor where the
casket lay. An elaborate altar had been set up before the casket, complete with
joss sticks and incense paper. Little saucers of fruits and food lay on it
as well. A single candle burned on the right side, its flickering light
reflecting off the picture frame that was placed at the center of everything.
The sound of gongs and wind instruments accompanied the chanting of three monks
who stood beside the altar. Zhi Tian went up before the altar and bowed. One of
the monks stepped forward to take a joss stick from a pot and lighted it with
the flame from the candle. He then offered it to Zhi Tian.
Zhi Tian accepted the joss stick from the monk, who retreated to stand beside
the other two monks. He clasped the joss stick between his hands and closed his
eyes to offer a prayer. He bowed three times before stepping forward and
planting the joss stick firmly in the pot of sand on the altar. He took a step
back and stood there gazing sadly at that smiling face.
May’s smiling face.
David was right, he thought bitterly as he turned
around and walked away. Life
really is a bitch. No one
should ever have to die because some idiot thought he’d get drunk behind the
wheel in broad daylight on New Year’s Eve, especially not someone like May.
A commotion near the front doors caught his attention, and the noise level of
the room grew in a sudden crescendo. Even the monks standing beside the altar
stopped chanting to look towards the doors. Curious, Zhi Tian moved closer to
get a better view, and felt his pulse quicken when he caught sight of a brown
head of hair peeking through the top of the crowds.
David.
Zhi Tian hustled his way through the people milling themselves around his
friend. For some reason, David had attracted a crowd of people who were
gathered in a circle around his person. Geez,
I guess he’s even more popular than I thought he was. All the while muttering apologies to
the people he had to gently push aside, he finally made his way through. He was
about to call out David’s name when his brain finally registered what he was
seeing. Zhi Tian felt the blood freeze in his veins.
Oh shit.
***
David felt unnerved with everyone’s eyes on him. No one had stepped forward to
offer their condolences as he had expected, and neither did anyone greet him
since the moment he stepped through those gilded front doors. If anything,
those gazes directed at him almost seemed… hostile. He heard the crowd muttering among
themselves, and a few of them shook their heads in disapproval. David felt a
chill run down his back.
Awkwardly, he took a few steps forward.
The crowd didn’t budge.
Gathering his courage, he turned to an
elderly man with a walking stick and asked, “You shen me wen ti ma?” (Is there a problem?)
The old man gave him look of pure disgust
and spat. It landed on David’s shoe. He threw one last glare at David before
turning around and disappearing through the wall of people.
David’s mind was a whirlwind of thoughts. What the hell did I do wrong now?
A man in a white shirt pushed his way
through the crowd towards him. David felt his heart leap at the sight of a
familiar face. Finally! A friendly
face. He opened his arms in
anticipation of a hug.
“Zhi Tian! You have no idea how –
“Are – you – out – of – your – God – damn
– mind?” Zhi Tian hissed. Roughly, he caught hold of David’s shoulders,
spun him around, and shoved him hard back towards the doors. David heard him
yell in rapid Mandarin to the crowd surrounding them before grabbing hold of
his shoulders again and forcing him back through the corridor, down the
staircase, and out the main entrance of the building. All this happened so fast
that David did not even have a chance to gather his thoughts, let alone
protest. One of the cleaning ladies in the lobby looked at them curiously as
they passed by but did not say anything. David blinked when he found himself
back outside the building. The rain still poured on relentlessly, and the cold
wind bit at them. David gave a slight shiver, but Zhi Tian did not seem to
notice it. Only there did Zhi Tian finally let go of his shoulders.
The funeral parlor was situated right
beside one of Beijing’s many main roads, and David could hear cars whizzing
through the rain on the road. The cacophony of pattering rain against the roof
accompanied the sound of splashing puddles on the road. The air outside was
cold, and there was no one else outside.
David watched Zhi Tian pace around with
agitation on his face. But Zhi Tian wasn’t the only one seeing red at the
moment. This is my wife’s funeral, for Christ’s sake!
“Do you want to tell me what the hell is going on?” David demanded angrily.
Zhi Tian finally stopped pacing and
rounded on him. His eyes were daggers in the dim light. “No, do you want to tell me what the hell you were thinking by wearing that to your own wife’s funeral?” He prodded David in the chest.
Hard.
Not for the first time that day, David
felt like a complete idiot. What?
All this fuss over the clothes I’m wearing? What the hell is this?
David looked down on himself. He was
wearing the changshan that May had bought for him, the very
same one he was going to wear for the reunion dinner at her parent’s house on
New Year’s Eve. David had bitterly cursed himself for not letting her see him
dressed in it while she was still alive. It was her present to him after all.
That was why he had chosen to wear this tonight. At the very least, perhaps she
could smile down on him from wherever she was right now.
“May gave this to me before she died,” he
said softly, gently fingering his cuffs. “She had always wanted to see me
dressed up in it, and I know she’d be happy if she could see me right now.”
David felt his eyes moisten again. He hurriedly blinked a few times.
“She also said that this would bring me
good fortune. God knows how much I need that tonight.”
“Good fortune?” screeched Zhi Tian in
disbelief. He threw up his hands. “David, the only thing you’re going to get
wearing that is a knife in your back, and you’ll be lucky if that's all you
get. Wo de tian! (My God!) Have you learned nothing of Chinese customs since you came
here? Red is the color of happiness, you moron! What were you thinking?”
David felt like he just got slapped in the
face, and his mind reeled as realization shot through him like electricity. Happiness? All those people, that
old man, Zhi Tian... They actually think I'm happy my wife is dead and lying in
that casket just because I’m wearing her favorite color? Numbly, he
lifted his right hand and stared at the bright red fabric of his sleeve. May.
From inside the building came a loud
rasping voice shouting in Mandarin. It took David a few seconds before he
recognized his father-in-law’s voice. David became instantly alert. Oh damn.
“Na ge wang ba dan pao le qu na?” (Where did that bastard go?)
David stole a glance through the
automatic glass doors. His elderly father-in-law was dressed in a black suit
and had been yelling at the unfortunate cleaning lady whom they passed by
earlier. She took a few steps back and held her mop protectively in front of
her. With an offended look on her face, she turned and pointed out the main
entrance. A moment later, David’s father-in-law stepped through those glass
doors and into the cold air with murder in his eyes.
Zhi Tian immediately went up to him and
started a stream of explanations. David couldn’t make out what he said, but
whatever it was, it fell on deaf ears. The old man shoved Zhi Tian roughly
aside with one hand and took a few steps towards David. Pure fury distorted
that aged face as the old man raised an accusing finger at David.
“You!” he shrieked. “I should have killed
you the moment I saw you, you piece of filth. I was stupid to expect anything
good from you Americans, especially an American who stole my only daughter from
me. And tonight you dare to insult my daughter’s memory
with your insolence?”
“Ba,” David began, but then he stopped.
“Sorry” didn’t seem to be the right word at this time. But what else can I say? David gave a deep bow to the old man. No excuses this time.
“Dui bu qi.” (I’m sorry)
The old man replied by stepping forward
and swinging his fist in an upward motion at David’s head, which was still bent
over in a bow. It connected with surprising force squarely on David’s nose, and
he felt the cartilage in it break on impact. David’s feet lifted an inch off
the ground before he landed painfully on the small of his back. He could feel
blood flowing from his nose, and his mouth was already filled with the metallic
taste of it. Vaguely, he heard Zhi Tian’s pleading voice over the background of
splattering rain and speeding cars.
May’s father ignored him and walked to
stand beside David, who lay groaning on the ground. Hatred etched the corners
of his eyes as he glared down at David, and his fingers were clenched into
fists. He raised his foot and slammed it down on David’s chest. David’s eyes
widened as the air was knocked out of him. He turned on his side gasping for
air.
Numb with pain, David felt rough hands
take hold of the front of his changshan and pull him forwards. He found
himself face-to-face with his father-in-law. His eyes were crinkled in anger,
and his lips were pulled back in a snarl.
“Let me tell you something, Mr. West,” the old man said in
a soft but dangerous tone. “I hate Americans. They’re arrogant and
think they know everything when they come here, and I’d sooner die than hire
one to work in my bank. The only reason why I hired
you was because that man (he jerked his thumb towards Zhi Tian) pleaded with me
and told me that you were different, that you were willing to learn new things.
He told me you would never disappoint me.” His voice dripped with contempt.
“And so, like the naïve old man I am, I took his advice and hired you. That was the second biggest mistake of my
life.”
David felt himself being lifted up to his
feet by the front of his changshan.
Groggily, he found himself wondering how his father-in-law could be so strong
for someone hitting seventy years of age.
“But the biggest mistake of my life,” he whispered
harshly, “was not killing you when you had the nerve to ask my daughter out the first
time. And because of my mistake, today she’s dead.” David felt his fists
tighten further on his clothes. The old man closed his eyes for a moment before
opening them again. Malice burned in them. “Your friend was right; you did not
disappoint me at all. You’re an American, and I expected nothing better from filth like you.” With a grunt, the old man
violently shoved David backwards and out onto the road.
David felt the rain hit his face as he
stumbled out on the road. He did not hear Zhi Tian scream his name, nor did he
hear the sound of the approaching bus. When he finally did, it was too late.
David only had one thought in his head as he watched the incoming headlights.
May…
